Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the way we talk to ourselves. It’s a quiet conversation, often unnoticed, but it shapes our hearts and souls in profound ways. As a Reiki Master Teacher, I spend my days guiding others toward healing, encouraging them to embrace their light and release their burdens. Yet, I’ve noticed how easy it is to offer compassion to others while being our own harshest critics. Why do we save our kindest words for friends, students, or even strangers, but let negative self-talk dominate the way we treat ourselves?
My own journey has been a roller-coaster, marked by struggles that many of you might identify with. For one, over the years, my weight has fluctuated like a yoyo, each rise and fall carrying a wave of self-doubt. Insecurities telling me I wasn’t enough – not fit enough, not successful enough, not worthy enough. I’d look in the mirror and see flaws before I saw the woman who was trying her best. It wasn’t until I was in my 40’s that I realised this wasn’t the life I wanted. I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life battling myself. I wanted peace, growth, and a relationship with myself rooted in love.
That shift didn’t happen overnight. It began with a single question: What if I spoke to myself the way I speak to my friends and others? In my Reiki classes and sessions, I encourage others to honour their energy, to see their struggles as part of their growth, and to trust in their innate worth. But I wasn’t extending that same grace to myself. So, I started small. I began noticing my self-talk, catching those moments when I’d say, “You’re not good enough” or “Why can’t you get this right?” Instead of letting those thoughts spiral, I’d pause, breathe, and replace them with something kinder: “You’re doing your best, and that’s enough.”
This practice wasn’t just about words—it was about energy. In Reiki, we learn that our thoughts carry vibrations that ripple through our bodies and lives. Negative self-talk is like a heavy stone dropped into a still pond, disrupting our flow. But kind words, stated with intention, can create waves of healing. I started incorporating self-Reiki into my mornings, placing my hands over my heart and solar plexus chakras, whispering affirmations like, “I am worthy of love” or “I release judgment and embrace my journey.” Slowly, those words became my truth.
The transformation wasn’t just internal. As I learned to treat myself with compassion, I noticed shifts in my relationships, my work, and even my physical health. I stopped seeing my body as a battleground and started honouring it as a vessel for my spirit. The yoyo dieting faded, not because I found a perfect plan, but because I stopped punishing myself for being human. I began to see my insecurities not as failures, but as invitations to grow, to heal, to lean into the practices that light me up—Reiki, meditation, and the simple act of being present. Am I perfect? As perfect as I can be in each moment! Do I still slip from time to time? Absolutely! But I now know I am doing the best I can with the knowledge and understanding I have at the time… and I shift!
So, how can we all relook at this relationship with ourselves? How do we move from self-loathing to self-love, from criticism to growth? It starts with awareness. Notice the words you use when you talk to yourself. Are they words you’d say to a dear friend? If not, it’s time to rewrite the script.
Pause and Listen: Set aside a moment each day to check in with your self-talk. Write down one negative thought you notice, then rewrite it as a positive affirmation. For example, “I’m so disorganised” becomes “I’m learning to create order in my own way.”
Practice Self-Reiki: If you’re trained in Reiki, place your hands on your heart or root chakra for 5–10 minutes daily. As you channel energy, repeat a mantra like, “I am enough.” If you’re new to Reiki, simply rest your hands on your chest and breathe deeply, imagining warm, loving light filling your body.
Mirror Work: Stand in front of a mirror, look into your eyes, and say, “I love and accept you exactly as you are.” It might feel awkward at first, but this practice, inspired by Louise Hay, rewires your subconscious over time.
Celebrate Small Wins: At the end of each day, write down one thing you did well, no matter how small. Maybe you showed up for a meditation, smiled at a stranger, or simply got out of bed. These moments build a foundation of self-worth.
Get Help: Healing doesn’t happen in isolation. Share your journey with a trusted friend, join a spiritual community, or work with a healer to clear energetic blocks. You don’t have to do this alone.
The moral of this journey is simple yet profound: The way you speak to yourself is a choice, and choosing love is a radical act of healing. It’s not about perfection – it’s about progress, about showing up for yourself with the same kindness you offer others. At 40-odd, I chose to rewrite my story, and every day since has been a step toward a life filled with more joy, more peace, and more love. You have that power too. Start today, with one kind word, one gentle breath, one moment of grace. Your soul deserves it.
And if you’re feeling called to deepen your connection to energy and presence, consider joining one of my upcoming Reiki workshops or booking a session. Together, we can explore the magic of living in the now.